What could you achieve with a boost to your health, well-being and vitality?

Health & Well-being - Butterfly Group meeting

Wednesday, 18 February 2015 from 6.30pm to 9pm in Hereford

What could you achieve with a boost to your health, well-being and vitality? Flourish in February with our session on how you can fire on all cylinders and lose that lethargy! Ditch those dreaded diets and learn top tips to keep your energy high. Do you have questions about your 'Health & Wellbeing'? Come and join us at February’s Butterfly Group meeting.

Please contact me for more information or sign up on my website.

About the Butterfly Group

Many women suffer from a lack of confidence or low self-esteem that keeps them stuck in less than satisfactory relationships and jobs. Financial pressures and family responsibilities can also make life seem hard. If this sounds familiar to you, isn't it imperative that you take some time out for yourself to learn what it is you really want out of life?

Debs Adams and I started the Butterfly Group as a way for women to meet and work out life's challenges together. Our group helps women support each other through monthly meetings held in Hereford. Each meeting focuses on a particular theme or issue to which all women can relate in one way or another. We offer coaching in a supportive environment in order to help you define your goals and make positive life changes. You owe it to yourself to reconnect with your dreams and ambitions.

If you are looking to enrich yourself in the company of like-minded women, our group meetings may be just what you are seeking. Imagine living life to the fullest and having the confidence to do all of the things you have always wanted to do!

Connect More With Rapport

Rapport. That word kept popping into my mind in the last few days. What is that stuff anyway? How does it help me? Today the horses taught me what rapport is! It is that wonderful feeling of being in the company of a like-minded being and having an absolute understanding and respect for each other. A friend’s horses showed me how easy and quick it is to create that feeling.

He had bought a couple of young foals last year who hadn’t been touched by humans very much. They have run free and fairly wild and have been untouchable all year. We decided we would take time to get them more used to people as they are now getting quite large, and it would be helpful for my friend if he could manage to catch them to trim their feet and move them easily from field to field. I went over to his farm today and initially we herded them into an old pen with a reasonably high fence and a division down the middle.

Obligingly one young horse went each into side of the division so I could have one-to-one! I went to the first youngster and straight away she put her ears back, dashed off to the corner and stood with her back to me and a leg poised. I thought her intention was very clear – ‘stay away!’ I decided to move away to the opposite corner and turn my back on her. As I did that, she turned and walked down the pen to another corner, so I copied her behaviour on the opposite side of the pen. I kept this up for a couple of minutes. Every time she moved, I mirrored her on the opposite side of the pen.

Then I decided to move first, and turned and walked across the pen with my back to her. Just after I started moving, so did the horse, and instead of mirroring me on the opposite side of the pen, she followed me to my corner. Without looking at her I turned and crossed the pen diagonally, and there she was, a couple of feet away, following me. From that moment we spent five minutes together and she shadowed my every move. Well, actually the pen was quite small, so I’m not sure who was mirroring who some of the time! We seemed to be absolutely in tune with each other and had formed some kind of bond of trust very quickly. I felt she understood me and I understood her. I moved to the other pen and saw the other young horse.

This time there was no stand-off to begin with. I listened to her (a strange expression I know, as she didn’t say anything verbal!) and straight away started moving like her and in the same direction and in parallel to her, but slightly after she moved. However she had been watching the dance I had with the first filly and almost instantly started mirroring me and following me. Once again I felt completely at peace and in tune with this young horse and that she felt the same about me.

I stood back to admire both horses and noticed that my friend who had watched the whole display was leaning against the fence with a sleepy look and the first young filly was standing right beside him yawning.

Then the word ‘rapport’ sprang into my mind again. So that’s what rapport is! What an amazing half hour’s experience, and all without words. These two horses had shown me what the deepest rapport feels like and how easy it is to establish.

You may not have a horse handy to show you what rapport means, but there are people all around you who you can practise on and build your skills. Every day practise this for a few minutes. Very soon you will see, hear and feel a definite difference in the way people react to you.

Look at someone’s non-verbal communication and their posture; hear their voice and its pitch and tone. Start moving like them and talk in the same tones as them and either match their gestures or mirror them. If they cross their legs or lean back, do the same. Be subtle and don’t follow too soon or they will notice and feel uncomfortable. After a minute or two of mirroring their actions, tone of voice and pace, you can assume a posture of your own, and if they are in rapport they will follow your gestures.

This is such a great experience because they feel a mutual respect developing quickly and so do you. It is a useful technique in all our relationships, whether that is at home, with our family and friends or at work with co-workers, in meetings or on sales calls.

Go on, give RAPPORT a whirl!

If you want to know more about improving your non-verbal communication, please give me a call.

Communication, Emotional Intelligence and Personal Development Course - February 2015

Do you want to improve your communication skills, advance your personal development and perform to your maximum potential both at home and at work? Do you want to unlock the secrets of Emotional Intelligence and NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) to give you the ability to communicate at a level above the spoken word?

We can help you to help yourself with our 'Communication, Emotional Intelligence and Personal Development course' which will run over two weekends in February 2015 at Clyro Hill Farm.

What Will You Learn?

The course will equip you with all the necessary tools to reach your goals; your communication skills will become more dynamic, and after learning about body language and facial expressions you'll gain a deeper understanding of your own emotions. Your self-awareness will increase, giving you the power to boost your performance and self-confidence.

Who Can Attend?

If you want add some sparkle to your communication and maximise your performance levels in a way that really gets results, this course is for you!

What Else do I Need to Know?

This feature-packed, four-day course will be held over two weekends in February (7/8 and 14/15). The price is fully inclusive of reading and study materials, lunch and refreshments during training.

There's also an early bird discount of £175 if you book before 1 January 2015, so take the first step towards a new, improved future, and make that booking now.

Please take a look at the course brochure PDF for full details and give me a call if you'd like to know more - 01497 820 520.

Qualifications & Credit Framework
An optional accredited assessment is available for the course for £225. This includes all materials, assessment, support and accreditation. There are four units in the award. Three of the units are at Level 3 and qualify for three credits each. The fourth unit is at Level 2 and qualifies for three credits. This requires successful completion of a reflective diary/log during and after the course. For more information on the QCF please click here.

Have you discovered the True You?

Take a step to find the true you

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

Have you found real meaning and purpose in your life? It’s much easier to answer this when you know who you are. By discovering the true you, you have the ability to enjoy a life that is fulfilling, exciting and feels right.

Who is the True You?

When I ask, ‘Who are you?’ it’s not a trick question. In fact, I don’t want to hear about your accomplishments and what you have been through in life. When I ask who you are, I want to know the true you. This is a deep question that asks how well you really know yourself as a person, who you are when you look at your core, the inner you within your body.

Most people really cannot answer this question so if you can’t either, don’t worry, you’re not alone. If you look back to when you were younger, you were likely to be asked, “What do you want to be when you’re older?” You weren’t asked, “Who do you want to be?” So a role you may have now is different from you as a person.

If you haven’t found yourself yet or are not sure who you are, it’s almost impossible to align your life when it comes to the true you. And working to harmonise your environment with your passions and values can be exceptionally hard when you haven’t discovered the true you.

Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it. - Buddha

Finding the true you isn’t about a final destination or how you progress, it’s what feels right to you. Following your aspirations can help you reveal the true you and you get to know yourself better as you move forward. The good news is that everyone else can get to know the true you too. It’s not that hard to achieve. Living it makes you feel alive.

You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously. - Steve Maraboli

If you want to find the true you, why not join me at Clyro Hill Farm this weekend?

https://enhanceworld.wufoo.eu/forms/discover-the-true-you-1st-november-2014/

Are you aware of the power of non-verbal communication?

A French student came to stay with us for two weeks this summer and her understanding of English when she arrived was about the same as my French – limited! As we began to try to communicate I became aware of how intently I was listening to her and observing her; it wasn’t just about verbal communication - she was fairly shy – it was about all the things she wasn’t saying but doing.

How did I ‘know‘ she was shy? I deduced it from the way she looked at me, the way she moved her hands and tapped her foot when she spoke. And though all these signals were miniscule, I realised that for every group of gestures and expressions she made, I could interpret them as easily as if she had spoken words I understood. And if I was reading her micro expressions, then she could read mine as well.

For the first few days, instead of relying on Google Translate, I concentrated on exaggerating my non-verbal signals to match whatever I was saying in English. Our young French visitor caught on like wild fire and we began conversing in English and understanding each other, although part of this was rather like a stage play sometimes. After four days I could tell when we hit a word she didn’t understand simply by the fleeting muscle movement in her face.

Each day we also spent time with the horses and it was fascinating to observe her communicating with them and them with her. As their whole world is non-verbal they were quick to understand and respond to our visitor. Every day we went for a ride and I noticed that after a just a few hundred yards on horseback she was gaining confidence, and becoming much more verbal and fluent in the English language.

Good communication is partly about listening and observing, and these skills can come into play in the most unexpected places. For our French student, exaggerating non-verbal language improved our communications as well as giving her more confidence. And when she communicated with the horses it was just the same – words were redundant, so interpretation of non-verbal communication became of paramount importance; yet she did it quickly and easily. It’s amazing how much we all subconsciously pick up on non-verbals and accurately interpret them at a much faster rate than we do words.

You may not think this is relevant to you as might not have to engage with non-English speakers. But the next time you are having a difficult conversation, maybe at work or socially, imagine that person does not speak or understand you verbally. You may find that non-verbal communication is an easier conversation!

These skills are innate, but they can be honed. If you want to know more about improving your non-verbal communication, please give me a call.

Time is Life!

I have just experienced a sharp reminder. You may be like me and were always told that time is money. No – wrong - it isn’t. If you think about it you can always get more money by working overtime, doing odd jobs, even borrowing it. But you can’t ever get more time. Once time is spent it is gone forever.

Our son, Penry, was 15 this week and time-wise it seems like a few minutes since the day he was born. I wondered how all that time has gone by so quickly, and remembered all the occasions when I have deferred giving him my time and attention. Well - I didn’t go through ALL of them, because after thinking of a few I decided I needed to make changes and stop myself saying, “I’ll be with you in a few minutes”. These few minutes invariably extend to a few hours, or even days, and I find I have spent time doing ‘stuff’, which appeared more important than giving time to Penry.

I find that a very valuable tool to use to give myself more time is to focus. By focusing our energy on one thing we will get more from it.

Yesterday I shifted my focus from the job I was doing, on which I needed to spend a ‘few more minutes’, to Penry, and spending that time with him. As a result different avenues opened up and we spent quality time together as well as helped each other with homework and chores.

For you it may be that you need more time for work, for rest, or for holiday. Whatever it is, change your focus and you will find that a number of new options will present themselves. Don’t zoom in on just the small pieces of the jigsaw, focus on the big picture of what you want to achieve, and you will find you manage your time better. How you then spend that time is up to you!

For more information please give me a call – 01497 820520.

Shine your Light - How to illuminate the shadows of your fears

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do ... It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

A while ago I read this quote and felt a strange pull in my stomach. I printed it out and stuck it in my letter rack on my desk. Frequently, when I am rooting about amongst my paperwork, this piece drops onto the desk in front of me and I read it again, before popping it back in the rack! I have to admit it has taken me a while to admit to myself, and now to you, that this is true and it is a fear for me.

It is also a fact that if we focus on something we get more of it, so by concentrating on fear we become more fearful. How to overcome fear? Concentrate on an alternative! I choose to concentrate on JOY. What gives me joy, how can I get more joy in my life and what gives me joy every day? My family, my work and play with the horses, my friends and my work relationships are all joyful experiences for me. I get joy from coaching and supporting businesses and shining my light on people from all walks of life to achieve their personal goals.

Working on how I can shine my light more, has led me to develop my ‘Step Forward to Success’ programme. I believe with this programme I can help many of you to shine and I will be letting my own light shine!

In attempting to achieve goals in life, whether personal or business ones, I believe it is better to take small steps towards them, rather take than one big leap and maybe miss the target completely. My Step Forward to Success programme is designed to help you to define your goals and set a realistic plan, overcome your fear of failure and shine your light.

For a minimal time investment you gain a clear focus, a timescale to work to, and a guiding and encouraging hand along the way.

So, as Marianne Williamson says, if it’s your light that frightens you and you want to join me for a sure fire way of overcoming your fear, get in touch! For more information please give me a call – 01497 820520.