Monday 24 March 2014

Boosting Self Esteem

The other day a friend asked me if she could have some tips on boosting self-esteem when we next meet. So, as I was doing one of the mundane jobs of painting one of the log cabins, I pondered what my tips are. First I thought about what self-esteem is, and decided it was how we value ourselves and what we feel we are worth. I realised that sometimes people do or say things to me which make me feel very low in value and which very often I handle badly (‘I’m not worth it!’).

We can’t control what others do or say and a lot of our judgements about ourselves come from what we learn from a very young age; this has a powerful impact on how we value ourselves later in life. Even as a baby one of the first things we learn is our value. When a baby cries, someone comes and comforts them with food, warmth etc. How important are they? Conversely, abused or neglected children very often grow into troubled adulthood because of their learned negative view of themselves. No-one answered their cries, so they feel worthless.)

If we learn how to have a negative view of ourselves, guess what? It’s just as easy to learn how to change it to positive! Like all learning, to assimilate the lessons we have to practise and revise and practise again. Here are some quick ideas to start practising and see how you can increase your self-esteem very rapidly.
  • Write down how valued you believe yourself to be right now before reading on.
  • Love yourself and tell yourself that everyday. (Sit in front of the mirror and say I love you!)
  • Compliment yourself every day. The quickest way to get a compliment is to give one. Tell someone how good they look and they’ll compliment you back.
  • When you get a compliment just say thank you and nothing else. All too often we get a compliment and we are dismissive of it because we think we are not worth it. Accept the compliment with a simple thank you.
  • Make a list of 30 things you have achieved every day. Some people think that is hard. No it isn’t… Here’s a start 1. Got out of bed 2. Brushed teeth. 3. Read this article ... etc. Just everyday things are of value to your self-worth calculator.
  • Set yourself a small target, not a big one. When we set ourselves unreachable goals in a single step we very often fail and then beat ourselves up for it. Achieve the smaller goal and you can pat yourself on the back every day. (Today, instead of setting a target of painting the whole log cabin I set myself the target of one wall. I did it and feel really good about myself.)
  • Have fun. Take a look at some of the things you are doing in life to make sure you are enjoying the time spent. Look at the reasons which made you start a project and make sure they are still there. If the joy has gone you will feel negatively about carrying on with the project and worthless or pointless. This decreases your self-esteem.
  • Take ownership and responsibility for your life. If you find yourself blaming others for what is happening to you in life, you will feel worthless. Once you own the problem and are responsible (I’m overweight because I eat too much) you will be able to take control of your actions and make changes to succeed. (‘I can cut out eating fats and lose some weight and feel fitter’) – makes you feel important and decisive and valued.
  • In 7 days let me know what differences you have noticed.

These are just a few of hundreds of ideas I can discuss with my friend next time we meet. It also occurred to me that I felt valued because she had asked me this question. Maybe, if you see someone who looks as if they need to raise their self-esteem, you could ask them for their help?

It seems to me that raising self-esteem is a bit like getting a hot air balloon into the air. Your opinion of your worth may be stuck on the ground because of the heavy sandbags you have been given right from early childhood. If you look upward and tip out some of the sand - and you can trickle it overboard or chuck the whole bag out at once! - very quickly you will be flying high and feeling valuable. Once you’re in the air, refuse any ballast offered, or tip it overboard if it lands in the basket. 

Wednesday 19 March 2014

Horse Sense

By Guest Blogger John Phillips, Msc. PhD. DC.Hyp.

Any pet owner will regale you with tales of how clever their animal is. How, when you are almost home, your partner will tell you how man’s best friend knew before they did of your impending arrival, as your four-legged friend is waiting at the front door to greet you a minute or more before you actually arrived. We have all heard these stories or experienced them ourselves, and although we are convinced of man’s best friend’s extra sensory abilities, we have never been able to prove it.

Until now!

The benefits of inter-species communication are something that horse owners have always known. Scores of studies have shown that the non-verbal communication between horses and humans provides a learning environment that allows the individual to acquire emotional sensitivity, encourage self and social awareness, increase self-confidence, and develop communication skills and management abilities. In a herd, horses establish their positions – including leadership - by the use of body language and other non-verbal cues, with evidence supporting that collaboration with a horse teaches effective leadership competency.
  • Alan Hamilton, a horseman and Professor of Neurosurgery at the University of Arizona, developed a programme that used horses to address the difficulty in teaching non-verbal skills to medical students.
  • For the past decade, Stanford University medical students, under the direction of Beverly Kane MD, have participated in a programme called Medicine and Horsemanship. Dr Kane currently consults with medical and nursing schools across the US in developing Equine Assisted Learning programmes for their students.
  • There are now over seven hundred centres in the US that provide some kind of Equine Assisted Learning programmes.

Most Equine programmes in the UK tend to focus on very specific areas, such as Psychotherapy or children with disabilities. However, an EAD centre at Clyro Hill Farm in Herefordshire is unique, in that they will tailor-make their programme to satisfy the needs of an individual, a large organisation or educational institutions.

They will cater to those who require help with grief or anger issues, have special learning needs or addictions, or require emotional support and an increase in self confidence. They have also worked with adoptive and child fostering committees.

Large organisations will have the advantage of a staff that has experience that encompasses global communications, life coaching, corporate NLP development, certified teaching, conference organising, financial planning, industrial management and school governorship.

The empowering experience of Equine Assisted Development is enjoyable and life-changing. Whether individual, corporate or institutional, it just makes good sense. Horse sense.

Wednesday 12 March 2014

How life is evolving at Clyro Hill Farm

Clyro Hill Farm
I thought I would update you with news of what we are up to on top of Clyro Hill. Firstly, as you’ll guess we didn’t quite get blown away! And I think, from watching the news, we got off lightly, with just a few trees down and relatively little damage compared to those on the flood plains. The last few days have really felt like spring has sprung; we have had our first three lambs, and even the daffodils have picked themselves up and decided they’ll start flowering. We have been busy spring-cleaning the lodges ready for our guests and hope we’ll be seeing you again this year.

The horses have been doing their bit too and we are getting busy and booked up with a variety of people coming to do our Equine Assisted Development workshops and days, as well as retreat courses. If you have been following our journey for a few years now you will be interested to take a look at our new websites and what they offer. Please check in to www.emotionalhorsepower.co.uk and www.executivehorsepower.co.uk and feel free to subscribe to this blog. When you want to see it for yourself, please make sure you let us know that you’re an existing customer with the horses, the farm or the lodges and we will give you a special rate!

We are launching our Executive Training on Thursday, 27 March. It is a free event and you are invited to come along and see what it’s all about. We only ask that you will go home and spread the word please! Places are limited so please get in touch asap to reserve your place.

If you have any ideas or thoughts about the limitless applications of this sensory experience, please get in touch.

Here’s to a happy, healthy and dry spring for us all.

Thursday 6 March 2014

Calling all ladies! Did you know?...

Did you know we've been running a personal development group for women for the last 18 months? Come and join us at our March meeting, and find out how it can change your life.